Larry the Cable Guy says it’s just a matter of time before Nebraska never loses another football game against Iowa Randy Peterson, email@example.com
So Larry, about your boast that your beloved Nebraska football team won’t ever lose a game against Iowa?
“I must have had one of them vodka-punch deals that day that they had on one of those holes — just an idiotic statement,” he said Thursday after his 18 holes in the pro-am at the annual Principal Charity Classic at the Wakonda Club in Des Moines.
Iowa scored 49 points in a row in defeating the Huskers 56-14 in Lincoln last season.
Uh . . .
“I apologize to the entire state of Iowa,” he said with a straight face, before amending his summer of 2017 claim with this new one:
“Nebraska will never lose another football game against Iowa — after this season.”
That’s the word from the Cornhuskers’ No. 1 fan, Dan Whitney — also known as the funny, sleeve-cutting Blue Collar Comedy Tour star Larry the Cable Guy.
“Let me make this statement: You will never beat us again — after this year,” he said Thursday.
Whitney is a tournament regular. He draws crowds. He helps raise money for the Principal Charity Classic’s charities.
“Here’s the deal: I’m here for eye-candy — for the ladies,” he said. “I lost 47 pounds, and they said we’ve seen the crop of golfers here this week.
“We need some attractive golfers, so that’s one of the main reasons I came here.”
Someone asked him to show off the shoulders that he exposes beneath his customary cut-off sleeves.
Yo Larry, what about those guns?
“When the Lord gives you something nice, you want to show it off to everybody else,” he said, now back into his comedy routine. “I didn’t work at this. This is all natural.”
Larry was born in Pawnee City, Nebraska. He’s doesn’t hide his football allegiance to the Cornhuskers, something he made abundantly clear again when two reporters spoke with him Thursday.
When it comes to Nebraska football, there’s no "Git-R-Done!" jokes. To him, Husker football isn’t a punch line — and he’s not afraid to prove it.
He wasn’t thrilled when Mike Riley became the coach in 2015. He wasn’t overjoyed that his favorite team went 19-19 during that three-year run.
He was ecstatic when Cornhuskers favorite-son Scott Frost replaced Riley after last season.
“Scotty Frost has a heck of a hole to dig out of,” Larry said. “The last administration had pretty much taken the trailer and ripped the carpets and dented the appliances and stole all the books from the bookshelves, so we have to rebuild the whole team.”
He doesn’t miss a home game.
“Scott Frost is a heck of a coach," Larry said said his comedy schtick suddenly turning serious, We got the coach we wanted. We didn’t just get a coach because he’s from Nebraska and because he won a national title and because he’s from Wood River.
“We got a coach everybody wanted — Tennessee wanted him and Florida wanted him because he’s a good coach.”
Finally, Nebraska got him.
“We wanted Scott Frost before they got Riley,” Larry said. “We finally got a coach that knows the culture of Nebraska football.
“Give us some time to rebuild. By years three, four and five, Iowa will never beat Nebraska again in football.
“And believe me, I love Iowa.”
Iowa State columnist Randy Peterson has been with the Register for parts of five decades. Randy writes opinion and analysis of Iowa State football and basketball. You can reach Randy at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter at @RandyPete.